I know that I said this blog was about the pie bird but it's also about my journey as I grow as a baker and a person each day in my co-op placement. And some people may find this irrelevant and to them I say that's fine you don't have to read this I won't get offended.
But last year around this time I was verbal abused by my uncle when my nan went into the hospital saying it was "my fault" and " if I spend less time worrying about my academics and more time with her this wouldn't have happened" ect. I'm not normally one to take things like this to heart, but he just crossed a line and something inside of me broke. Suddenly I believed everything he said was true. I stoped caring about school and grades and hanging out with friends, even work I acted as if I had no self worth; I became depressed. I have been dealing with this for over a year now and every once in a while I would contemplate death, yet never attempted anything i don't know if that's cause I'm a coward or that I'm stronger than even I know.
In the summer my parents started to notice and sent me to the doctors. I sat there before my doctor and blantly said " I'm depressed" I refused meds cause I didn't want fake happiness fueled by chemicals. And I refused to speak with anyone. This is one of the few times I have opened up. And I believe that's cause of the PieBird.
Baking has given me something to Chanel that emotion into. And the return is rewarding knowing something I made, made someone else happy, that they took it home or whatever they did with it and it brought a smile to their face helps me in some way. Judy and everyone at the PieBird have given me the tools to grow as a person and someday help me leave the nest without even knowing it.
***No I don't want your pity or for you to worry about me I am still jenn just a little differnt,some days I won't be happy but I will still pretend everything is fine because "sometimes you can't let what you feel on the inside reflect on the outside." -don't forget me